Last night my family and I, still suffering through various stages of colds and bronchitis, sat watching “Revenge Of The Sith” for about the 12651156th time. Cut to Padme in labor:

Padme to Obi Wan: Anakin…is he alright?

Kel’s son (age 11), speaking for Obi Wan: Define “alright.” If by “alright” you mean “burned to a crisp on a lava planet” then he’s doing great!

I love that my smart ass tendencies are being manifest in my children in relatively harmless ways. So far they’re harmless, at least.

I’ve never eaten filet mignon before. Don’t feel sorry for me, though.

It’s like this: I know it’s expensive and that I’ll rarely be able to eat it and I’m so afraid that I’ll really like it and then come to the sad realization that I’ll rarely be able to eat it. “What if I get addicted to it?” I ask myself. “Would I then be forced into a life of crime in order to support my filet mignon habit?” That possibility is just too scary to contemplate and so I have resigned myself to a filet mignonless life. Instead I’ll stick with what is safe. There is no way, for example, that I will ever get addicted to meatloaf.

I’ve never eaten filet mignon before. Don’t feel sorry for me, though.

It’s like this: I know it’s expensive and that I’ll rarely be able to eat it and I’m so afraid that I’ll really like it and then come to the sad realization that I’ll rarely be able to eat it. “What if I get addicted to it?” I ask myself. “Would I then be forced into a life of crime in order to support my filet mignon habit?” That possibility is just too scary to contemplate and so I have resigned myself to a filet mignonless life. Instead I’ll stick with what is safe. There is no way, for example, that I will ever get addicted to meatloaf.

You Tube – Lazy Sunday = Crazy Ironic

I usually love irony. It’s my favorite flavor, in fact. But this is a situation full of what I would call bitter irony.

As just about everybody with access to the World Wide Web is aware, back in December a digital short called “Lazy Sunday”, the brain child of The Lonely Island Dudes & veteran SNL-er Chris Parnell, made it’s debut on Saturday Night Live and in no time became an internet sensation, mostly via You Tube, a website where members upload their favorite videos. At last count “Lazy Sunday” was viewed (no exaggeration) somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 million times on that website. The Lazy Sunday phenomenon made headlines and has, it’s been said, breathed new life into SNL, as viewership has steadily increased since the video’s airing.

Smelling gold, NBC temporarily made LS available to download for free on iTunes, then subsequently charged $1.99 for the video (along with many other popular SNL skits.) This is, of course, something NBC has every legal and moral right to do and I’m glad they’re making some of the older skits available. I have myself sent in an email request to Lorne Michaels via his website to make my all-time favorite SNL skit, “Synchronized Swimmers” starring Martin Short, Harry Shearer and Christopher Guest, available to purchase on iTunes. (We’re thisclose, Lorne & I,* so I’m expecting a response from him any day now.) I would, of course, happily shell out the two bucks to be able to watch this comedy classic from the comfort of my own computer chair. In fact if I hadn’t already taken advantage of the NBC/iTunes free Lazy Sunday download I’d shell out the two bucks for that as well.

However, and this is where the bitter irony comes into play (I know you’ve been waiting breathlessly for it), today it was reported that NBC has ordered You Tube to remove “Lazy Sunday” from their website. Legally and morally they have every right to do so. Simply and obviously stated, they own the rights to the skit and so naturally they control how and where it can be used. But I can’t help but wonder (sorry if that makes me sound like Carrie Bradshaw…crikey!) whether this is necessarily a wise thing to do. After all, without fans making “Lazy Sunday” available for free on You Tube to begin with NBC wouldn’t be looking at this potential iTunes goldmine. Not to mention the fact that the increase in SNL’s audience caused by Lazy Sunday’s popularity means increased commercial revenue for the network. And none of that cost NBC a dime because–THAT’S RIGHT–fans did it for ’em for free! It’s not wise to look a gift fan in the mouth.

Another ironic aspect of this story is that The Lonely Island Dudes themselves (whose work I’ve lauded previously on The Fine Line) were discovered in part due to the fact that they made their work available–for free–on the internet using a Creative Commons license. I don’t in any way look at NBC’s decision as a reflection on the comedy trio, but it’s still…bitterly ironic. And just another battle in the continuing war of Internet Users vs. Copyright holders.

*Completely untrue.

WOW.

I can’t believe I’ve only just seen this movie. Oddly enough I only thought to rent the movie because my brothers & I were recently talking about how good Matt Dillon was in “Something About Mary”.

“Crash” is amazing. Freaking great. Rent it now. As I write this it’s almost 1AM, and I’m getting ready to watch it again. I might even go out and buy it, which is saying quite a bit. (I’m pretty cheap when it comes to movies.)

I know that Matt Dillon won’t get the Oscar for his performance in this movie but DAMN was he good! Same for Terrance Howard (who is nominated for his work in “Hustle & Flow”, which I have not seen…yet), the always excellent Don Cheadle and…well, everyone else in this movie.

Rent it. Now.

“As coffee steeps in the cup it gives off a musky aroma and turns the colour of ink. No one can understand the truth until he drinks of its frothy goodness.”

by Sheik Ansari Djezeri Hanball Abd-al-Kadir, 1857

Today’s entry is dedicated to my doctor, who is after me to stop drinking coffee. Foolish woman. Here are just a few of coffee’s many benefits:

1. Coffee is an excellent source of Vitamin C.*
2. The average adult consumes 1,299 milligrams of antioxidants daily from coffee. That sounds like a lot to me.
3. People who drink coffee daily, or nearly every day, have half the liver cancer risk of those who never drink it.
4. Drinking 4 or more cups of coffee per day can raise your I.Q. by 25 points.*
5. Men who drink more than six 8-ounce cups of caffeinated coffee per day lowered their risk of type 2 diabetes by about half, and women reduce their risk by nearly 30%, compared with people who do not drink coffee.
6. Drinking 12 or more cups of coffee per day prevents wrinkles.*

So drink up!

* Completely untrue.

I blame the umpires.

I usually think Dan Shaughnessy is a pontificating blowhard, but I actually agree with his latest column.

Seems that the Red Sox have officially cut ties with Boston’s Channel 38 and now the games can only be seen on pay cable’s New England Sports Network (NESN). Now let me say first of all that I do have cable TV and I do get NESN. I love NESN. Jerry Remy is my Homeboy and all that. Howevah, as Shaughnessy so aptly points out, this decision “takes the team away from some loyal fans who don’t have the cash for cable. We tend to think we live in a world in which everybody has cable television and personal computer access. Well, it’s not everybody. In the Boston market, 6-7 percent of homes do not have cable television.”

Alright, so over 90% of homes in the Boston market do have access to cable T.V. So what is the harm in letting the local station have free broadcast rights every Friday. That’s one day per week. Tom Werner’s reply? “We don’t want to exclude people who can’t afford cable, but we don’t want to give free tickets to people, either.” He later added, “I don’t want you to portray me as insensitive.” Um, okay Tom.

The additional income to the Sox? Reportedly a mere $4 million per year. Four million dollars. That’s somethin’ like an extra few Hamiltons a year to you and me. And another nail in the coffin of what baseball is really all about.

Speaking of spending income tax refund money, the family and I went to Uno’s Chicago Grill in Portland on Saturday for lunch after spending much of our income tax refund money at Circuit City and Toys R Us and I had the best meal ever that I have eaten: Chicken Spinoccoli. It was chicken, pounded flatter than a board, and stuffed (and subsequently rolled up) with broccoli, tomatoes and basil. THEN they took that (delicious enough as it was) and served it over Ziti with a basil alfredo sauce. There might have been some sort of cheese involved too, in fact I’m pretty sure there was. But anyway, if you get yourself to Uno’s anytime soon be sure and order this delectable treat for the tastebuds. Tell ’em Kel sent ya. This will mean absolutely nothing to them, and I guarantee that it will in no way make you eligible for a free dessert or beverage of any kind, but tell ’em anyway and enjoy the inevitable confusion that will ensue.

Unlike myself, my brother Rob is a sports genius and so does not pick his Superbowl favorites by deciding which uniform he likes best. He is enrolled at the New England School of Communications in Bangor, Maine where he writes a weekly sports column for their campus newspaper. Here is his piece for next week’s paper:

Who Are The Favorites In Super Bowl???

When I awoke this morning from my long night’s slumber, I found I had a
strange smile splashed on my face, and I felt as though I spent the entire
night dreaming that I had just won the lottery. When I checked the morning
paper I realized it was not a dream: Bill Cowher’s Pittsburgh Steelers
really were 4 point favorites in the Super Bowl. I was but one visit to an
off shore gambling site away from riches! I think I see Las Vegas’ logic
here. Being the best team in the NFC is kind of like beating Jessica
Simpson in Jeopardy, but getting 4 points from a Bill Cowher coached team in
a big game is like stealing. I think I’ll dig a little deeper and try to
look at this objectively before I put the college fund down on Mike
Holmgren’s Seattle Seahawks.

Let’s start with the glamour position, the quarterbacks. Pittsburgh’s Ben
Roethlisberger seems to have arrived in his second season. He has erased
his nightmarish performance in last year’s title game and put the Steelers on
his back this postseason, with 7 touchdowns 1 interception and a league
leading 124.8 passer rating. On the other side Matt Hasselbeck. Hasselbeck
has transformed himself into a star with very little fanfare. This
postseason he has thrown for 3 touchdowns has yet to throw an interception
while posting a 109.6 passer rating in one fewer game then Big Ben. Let’s
call the quarterbacks a draw.

The running back position is one of the two spots where I believe the
Seahawks have a decided advantage. With current NFL MVP Shaun Alexander
shaking off a concussion to have a monster game against the Carolina
Panthers last week, the Steelers should be very worried. Alexander will be
by far the best player on the field on Sunday, with the ability to win the
game all by himself. Looking at the other side, the Steelers bring a pair
of running backs to the party, who combined are not even close to Alexander.

Neither Willy Parker or Jerome Bettis are averaging even 50 yards per game
in the playoffs, and both seem to have caught fumble-itis at the worst
possible time for the Steelers. If I hear one more person say, “Hall of
Famer,” Jerome Bettis I may be sick. Longevity does not a Hall of Famer
make. The only way Bettis should get in to the Hall of Fame is if he buys a
ticket. Memo to Steeler fans, that was Bettis who nearly fumbled your
season away on the goal line in Indianapolis two weeks ago.

The offensive line advantage goes to Seattle as well. While Pittsburgh has
a decent line this group from Seattle is the best kept secret in the NFL.
America, introduce yourself to Walter Jones, Steve Hutchinson, Robbie
Tobeck, Chris Grey, and Sean Locklear. These are the anchors of the NFL’s
second most productive offense this season averaging 28.3 points per game.
The most glaring and overlooked mismatch of Super Bowl XL is in the Head
Coaching. Sorry Steeler fans but with Bill Cowher against Mike Holmgren
you’re bringing a knife to a gun fight. Since the AFC Championship game
began after the merger in 1970 there have been twelve instances where a team
was favored and playing at home has lost. Do you know who coached 4 of
those twelve teams? You guessed it, Bill Cowher. Mike Holmgren on the
other hand sports a modest 1-1 record in NFC Conference Championship games,
and has a Super Bowl win on his resume.

Even if you give Pittsburgh a slight advantage on defense, the only big
advantage they’ll enjoy in this game might be there fans. With probably the
widest fan base in the NFL the Steeler’s will likely have about 70% of the
crowd in Detroit rooting for them, thus making it like a home playoff game
for them. Given Bill Cowher’s record in home Championship games though, he
might want to start passing out those foam, “Seahawks #1,” hands now!
The Pick: Seahawks 27 Steelers 17