Small Town Hackers

On a warm, starry night last week, my co-worker, “E” (yes, The Cute One) knocked on the back door of the store at just before 12am. Actually, it would be more accurate to say she kicked on the back door. Because when I opened it up I discovered she was holding a computer hard drive in her arms.

“Hey Kel,” she said, placing it gently on the ground just outside the door.

“Hey.”

Behind her, a guy we’ll call “N” was lugging a monitor, with a keyboard and mouse balancing precariously on top. “N” is a regular customer and former employee of our beloved store. He is a most unusual guy, in the best sense of the word. He’s rather tall, with mutton-chop side burns and long, curly hair that he wears in a pony tail underneath a leather newsboy cap. He’s the kind of guy who knows a lot about everything. We’ve spent hours conversing on topics ranging from Nietzsche to evolution to Star Wars. In fact, he once walked into the store wearing a Stormtrooper mask, complete with voice distorter. I knew it was him right away, though. How many Stormtroopers do you know with a ponytail?

But I digress.

“E” plugged the hard drive into the recepticle nearest the door, out of the security camera’s view (to prevent both of us from losing our jobs). Then she set up the monitor, keyboard, and mouse on some milk and soda crates and fired up the works. While we waited for the thing to get going, she explained the situation. A guy she knows gave her a computer that once belonged to his teenage son. It was infected with over 200 viruses, and she wanted to get rid of them. The only problem was that the administrator’s username was password protected, and even though she could log onto the computer itself, she couldn’t actually do anything (other than play pinball and open a few music and picture files) without it.

“If you were a sixteen-year-old boy,” she asked, “what would your password be?”

I gave her a plethora of suggestions, none of which are printable here. Well, I suppose I could print ’em, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I’ve never been a sixteen-year-old boy, but I know how their minds work, and I’m sure you do, too.

“We tried all of those,” she grumbled.

You may have noticed something by now. I didn’t actually ask “E” why it was she had brought the computer to the store to do this bit of hackery instead of to her home, or to the home of a friend. The truth is it didn’t occur to me to ask. When you’ve worked enough graveyard shifts, nothing seems odd anymore. Compared to pantsless ladies and Stormtrooper disguises, sitting around a computer in the middle of a parking lot at midnight seemed almost normal.

It was “N”‘s turn to pipe up. “According to the movie Hackers, the four most commonly used passwords are love, sex, secret, and God.”

“Really?” I asked. “Secret?”

He nodded. It made my own various passwords seem like pure genius. “E” tried them all, to no avail.

“N” suggested we look through the music file to see what we could find out about the computer’s former owner. She pulled it up. It was labeled with his first and last name.

“Hey!” N said. “I know this kid! Try [year Kid will graduate from high school.]”

Voila! Instant access. There were cheers all around. We celebrated by playing a few games of pinball. Then they left. And when I got home several hours later, the first thing I did was to change all of the passwords on my computer.

Nobody’s safe in a small town.

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Speaking of unsafe small towns, things are heating up in fictional New Mills, Maine. Yep…chapters 30 & 31 of Waiting For Spring are up at Readers and Writers Blog. Check it out along with chapters 6 & 7 of Ann M. Pino’s Steal Tomorrow and a short poem called “Beneath the Apple Tree” by Laura Elliott.

Monday, Monday…

Things are a bit hectic ’round these here parts, so I have only enough time to get in my weekly plug.

Chapters 28 and 29 of Waiting for Spring were posted at Readers and Writers Blog on Sunday, along with chapters 4 and 5 of Ann M. Pino’s Steal Tomorrow (also see the banner/link on the right sidebar) and some cool new poetry by P.L Frederick.

And to say that I’ve been working like a crazy woman to update my website so that the ebook of Waiting for Spring can be read there directly, instead of on the googlepages site. Thanks to Tom Griffin for teaching me all about the wonders of FTP files and all of that sort of stuff.

I’ll keep you posted…

Monday, Monday…

Things are a bit hectic ’round these here parts, so I have only enough time to get in my weekly plug.

Chapters 28 and 29 of Waiting for Spring were posted at Readers and Writers Blog on Sunday, along with chapters 4 and 5 of Ann M. Pino’s Steal Tomorrow (also see the banner/link on the right sidebar) and some cool new poetry by P.L Frederick.

And to say that I’ve been working like a crazy woman to update my website so that the ebook of Waiting for Spring can be read there directly, instead of on the googlepages site. Thanks to Tom Griffin for teaching me all about the wonders of FTP files and all of that sort of stuff.

I’ll keep you posted…

New Works

Readers & Writers blog is chock fulla new stuff. Steal Tomorrow (my blog buddy Bunnygirl‘s post-apocalyptic novel, begins its serialization today; Tim Hulings’ short story Parcul Centru is featured; as well as chapter 25 of Waiting for Spring.

Sid Leavitt has also announced that, beginning this week, R&W Blog will post new material only on Sundays (two chapters at a time for novel serializations) so he can take some well-deserved time for himself during the week. I know I’m not speaking for just myself when I send a big THANK YOU over to him for all his hard work, and for his kindness in giving so many writers a home. When you click over there next, be sure to check out the Works section. It’s quite a library…

Plug it in

Well, I racked up three different blog entries yesterday without once mentioning that chapter 24 of Waiting for Spring was posted on Thursday at Readers and Writers Blog.

If you’re a student of writing fiction, you’re probably familiar with basic plot structure: introduction, conflict, climax, resolution. Personally, I like to look at it like this:

1) Introduce bucket of shit.
2) Turn on the fan.
3) Toss contents of bucket at fan.
4) Give the characters a shower.

Let’s just say that by chapter 24 of Waiting for Spring, the fan is whizzing at full speed.

Math, music, and a history lesson

A gallon of milk weighs approximately 8.5 pounds.
A crate of milk contains 4 gallons of milk.
That’s approximately 34 pounds.

Last night, while working in the cooler, a crate of milk slipped out of my hands. I had a mere 1.0342302 seconds (give or take a millisecond) to save one or more of my precious toes and/or foot from being crushed under its weight. You would have been mightily impressed by the quickness and nimbleness I displayed in snatching this Crate Of Doom just in the nick of time. As I sit here typing this missive, my toes and/or foot are miraculously whole and unbruised.

Oh, how I wish they weren’t!

The trade-off was the alignment of my back. Apparently, it objected to being called upon to bear the weight of 34 pounds of milk so suddenly. It’s voicing this objection right now, in loud tones, the melody to which is: “Let it drop / let it drop / you shoulda let it drop.”

Needless to say, I’m not moving very quickly or nimbly today. Instead I’m reading a Civil War book I picked up yesterday, The Commanders of Chancellorsville – The Gentleman Versus The Rogue (Robert E. Lee being the gentleman, Joe Hooker the rogue) by Edward G. Longacre. For those of you unfamiliar with American Civil War history, the Confederates won the battle of Chancellorsville–in large part–by scaring the bejesus out of the Union Army. The tradeoff was the loss of Stonewall Jackson. It’s worth renting the otherwise yawn-inspiring movie, Gods and Generals, (based on Jeff Shaara’s very excellent book of the same name) just to see this battle enacted.

Today’s a good day for you guys to do some reading, too. Chapter 23 of Waiting for Spring (Tess verses her mother in a Phone Call Of Doom) is now up at Readers and Writers Blog. Also posted is Chapter 5 of J. Cafesin’s Disconnected, and (sadly) the final installment of Gerard Jones’ Ginny Good. Check ’em out.

Nothing but net

Chapter 22 of Waiting for Spring has been posted at Readers and Writers Blog. I really like this chapter, if I’m allowed to say so. I have a rather soft spot for Tess’ ex-husband, Jason.

My goal in writing the Tess/Jason subplot was to create a tragic love story that could have been the subject of an entire novel on its own, and I’m pretty happy with the result. I wrote said backstory after a conversation I had with a friend of mine about the concept of Soulmates. Is there such a thing? What happens when you’ve found yours, then lost him? Is everyone entitled to just one, or are there dozens of potential soulmates out there somewhere?

Actually, that conversation was the impetus not just for this subplot, but for the entire book, even though I never use the term. And the idea of introducing Jason to readers as the jerkwad ex-husband, then having Tess gradually peel back the layers of hurt to reveal a once deliriously happy couple, came to me after I saw “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” (Great movie. If you haven’t seen it, get on it right away.)

And–if I’m further allowed to brag–one of my favorite lines of the novel comes from Chapter 22:

“I was fucking exhausted, completely worn out from a night awake and a day of work and an evening of back-breaking sex…”

So, check it out, along with Chapter 34:Colma of Gerard Jones’ Ginny Good.

Human Touch

I believe I’ve told you about my co-worker, “E.” To refresh your memory, she’s the chick who is much cuter than I am and once drank Shirley Temples with me on a particularly slow graveyard shift. We switched shifts yesterday (her three-to-eleven for my graveyard) so she could go out with some buddies.

To be honest, I was looking forward to this. It had been awhile since I’d had any contact with Daytime Customers*. People who–more often than not–wear their pants in public and aren’t [yet] too stoned to remember what they came in for. (Hint: it’s probably something sweet.) Alas, I was destined for disappointment. The place was busy, alright, and all of my customers were wearing pants. As far as I could tell none of them were stoned. But the majority of them didn’t come into the store. Most of them were only there for pay-at-the-pump fuel.

I’m not anti-technology. Obviously I own a computer with internet access (high speed wireless DSL…that’s right, we’ve got that up here in the boonies). I have an iPod, Tivo (or something like it, anyway…I can’t remember what it’s called at the moment), and a cool thingamajig button on my keychain that pops my trunk open for me so I can put my groceries inside it with the greatest of ease. But I’ll tell ya, I felt a little disconnected from the world as I stood there, caged up at that lonely, rural convenience store, watching lines of people get out of their cars, pump their gas, then get right back in again and drive away. Most of them didn’t even bother to look into the store window to see if anyone was there. And it made me long for the old fashioned pump-your-fuel-then-walk-your-ass-into-the-store-to-pay-for-it pumps.

The few customers who braved a trip inside were greeted with a hearty smile and an enthusiastic “Howdy!” It took all of my self-control not to follow them as they browsed the aisles, just for the chance at a little bit of conversation. They all left the store with a heartfelt “Come again soon!!!!” ringing in their ears. And when “E” finally arrived at ten-thirty I actually hugged her. Poor girl. She probably thought I was stoned.

Speaking of stoned (yes…seriously) Chapter 21 of Waiting for Spring is up at Readers and Writers Blog along with Chapter 33: Scenic Hills of Gerard Jones’ Ginny Good. There’s also some brand-spanking-new poetry posted by two poets; Nancy Allen and my buddy Joel Phipps. Check ’em out! You won’t be sorry.

*Saturday morning customers don’t count. They’re usually cranky or hungover, or both.

Some of This and some of That

Ah, yes, another potluck post.

1. My Internet Explorer is pulling a mini freak out on me. It won’t let me visit websites, blogs, etc that use Site Meter. This is very distressing since I use it on this blog. At least, I did until I figured out why I couldn’t get on here and deleted the Site Meter thing-a-ma-bob. So, if you have Site Meter on yours, and are wondering why I haven’t visited you…that’s why. I’m not a computer geek, so I’m not exactly sure what I.E. has against S.M., but I hope they kiss and make up very soon. Is anyone else having this problem????? [UPDATE: Looks like it’s not just me. Check out this article.]

2. I have to weigh in on the Manny Ramirez thing. If you’re not into baseball, feel free to skip ahead to #3. Basically my thoughts boil down to this: Thanks for the laughs, Manny, now good frigging riddance. The Hall of Fame awaits you, no question, and deservedly so. But no amount of homeruns can make up for selfish bullshit you’ve been pulling all season long. Oh, how I long for the days of real baseball! Before it became a haven for soulless, money hungry agents like Scott Borasshole. To quote my hero, Bill Lee: “That was real baseball. We weren’t playing for money. They gave us Mickey Mouse watches that ran backwards.” (Imagine what my thoughts were before I boiled ’em down…)

3. I’m going to a Portland Seadogs game tonight!!! Whoo hoo! (Ooops…I guess those not interested in baseball should’ve skipped ahead to #4.)

4. A Waiting for Spring reader emailed me yesterday wondering just what the hell Watermelon Tourmaline is. It’s a pink and green gemstone that–when cut just right–looks like watermelon slices and–when cut another just right way–is just plain beautiful. I used it in WFS for a few reasons. 1) it was once mined in Maine. 2) it went along well with the color motif that runs through the book. 3.) its ‘energies’ (if you believe in that kind of thing) are love, healing, and power…also very important themes in the story. 4.) a few years ago I fell in love with a tourmaline ring I saw (but couldn’t afford to buy) at Bennett’s Gems & Jewelry in Belfast, Maine. I figured if I couldn’t have it then Tess could. Here’s a website that’s chock full of information about tourmaline, including lots o’ photos.

5. Chapter 20 of Waiting for Spring has been posted at Readers & Writers Blog, along with Chapter 32: Hillsborough of Gerard Jones’ Ginny Good. Check ’em out!

6. Have a great weekend!

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