Math, music, and a history lesson


A gallon of milk weighs approximately 8.5 pounds.
A crate of milk contains 4 gallons of milk.
That’s approximately 34 pounds.

Last night, while working in the cooler, a crate of milk slipped out of my hands. I had a mere 1.0342302 seconds (give or take a millisecond) to save one or more of my precious toes and/or foot from being crushed under its weight. You would have been mightily impressed by the quickness and nimbleness I displayed in snatching this Crate Of Doom just in the nick of time. As I sit here typing this missive, my toes and/or foot are miraculously whole and unbruised.

Oh, how I wish they weren’t!

The trade-off was the alignment of my back. Apparently, it objected to being called upon to bear the weight of 34 pounds of milk so suddenly. It’s voicing this objection right now, in loud tones, the melody to which is: “Let it drop / let it drop / you shoulda let it drop.”

Needless to say, I’m not moving very quickly or nimbly today. Instead I’m reading a Civil War book I picked up yesterday, The Commanders of Chancellorsville – The Gentleman Versus The Rogue (Robert E. Lee being the gentleman, Joe Hooker the rogue) by Edward G. Longacre. For those of you unfamiliar with American Civil War history, the Confederates won the battle of Chancellorsville–in large part–by scaring the bejesus out of the Union Army. The tradeoff was the loss of Stonewall Jackson. It’s worth renting the otherwise yawn-inspiring movie, Gods and Generals, (based on Jeff Shaara’s very excellent book of the same name) just to see this battle enacted.

Today’s a good day for you guys to do some reading, too. Chapter 23 of Waiting for Spring (Tess verses her mother in a Phone Call Of Doom) is now up at Readers and Writers Blog. Also posted is Chapter 5 of J. Cafesin’s Disconnected, and (sadly) the final installment of Gerard Jones’ Ginny Good. Check ’em out.
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About R.J. Keller

R. J. Keller is the author of Waiting For Spring. An avid independent movie enthusiast, she was Managing Editor of The Movie Fanatic website and created episodes of the writer-centric YouTube series, Inside The Writers' Studio, with author Kristen Tsetsi. She co-hosted Book Chatter with Stacey Cochran from 2011-2014. She lives in Central Maine with her family, where she enjoys gardening, collecting geeky memorabilia, and watching other people cook. View all posts by R.J. Keller

5 responses to “Math, music, and a history lesson

  • Zoe Winters

    That sucks about your back. I hope you feel better soon!

  • bunnygirl

    That hurts just thinking about it. It’s probably not so much the weight but the way it was distributed that caused all the trouble.

    If the pain persists, you might want to look into buying some Kinesio tape and a taping manual. It’s not cheap, but it’s what my physical therapist used on me for some problems and I’ve done my own taping ever since. It’s miracle tape!

    Good news– Sid agreed to start posting Steal Tomorrow next week. I feel privileged to be in your company!

  • R.J. Keller

    Thanks guys. I’m actually feeling a little better already.

    And bunnygirl…amazing news!!! I read chapter one this afternoon on your blog, and it is awesome.

  • Ole J.C.

    Yawn inspiring?

    Take thy knife from out my heart, Keller.

    I’ve half a mind to blog about how awesome the epic film is.

    (though Gettysburg is better).

  • R.J. Keller

    I was wondering if that would flush you out, JC.

    G&G should have been an epic movie. It was supposed to be based on Shaara's book. Instead, Maxwell tossed aside a good 75% of the source material and substituted Robertson's Stonewall Jackson biography. That would have been an interesting movie, but it's not the movie I paid to see.

    Gettysburg set us up to see the Armistead/Hancock farewell. It was in the book. It wasn't in the movie. Yet we're supposed to sit through Mrs. Pinhead's sewing circle? Ugh.

    We usually agree on movie, buddy, but not this time.

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