Last night at the store, two customers – old buddies – were faux-fighting over the twelve pack of Miller Lite they were splitting; the old Tastes Great, Less Filling thing. When they asked me to settle the ‘argument’, I offered up these words of wisdom:

“You’re both wrong. Miller Lite does not taste great. It tastes like panther piss. And beer isn’t supposed to be ‘less filling.’ That’s why it’s beer. Now go back to the cooler and get yourselves some Guinness and drink it like real men.”

They didn’t. Wimps.

Remember the Planters Peanut Girl commercial from this year’s [tragic] Superbowl [in which the Patriots did not emerge victorious]? To refresh your memory:

Now I know how she feels. Last night I broke a six pack of Michelob Light while I was stocking the cooler, and in the process my pant legs became drenched with beer. It took about an hour and a half for the pleasing aroma to fade, during which time every male between the ages of 15-89 who entered the store gave me the glad eye. I got winks and wiggly eyebrows. One guy even asked if I’d done something different with my hair. (I had not.) My beer sales spiked as well, so it was a win-win situation.

So ladies, why pay $102 for a 1.7 oz bottle of Chanel No. 5 when you can get six twelve oz bottles of Mich Light for less than seven bucks? And–depending on where you live–you may be able to recoup some of the expense by returning the empty bottles to your local redemption center.

Just thought you’d enjoy a friendly Tip From Kel-ouise.

(FYI: here’s the real woman underneath the unibrow. I think she’d stop traffic without the cashews or beer.)

Remember the Planters Peanut Girl commercial from this year’s [tragic] Superbowl [in which the Patriots did not emerge victorious]? To refresh your memory:

Now I know how she feels. Last night I broke a six pack of Michelob Light while I was stocking the cooler, and in the process my pant legs became drenched with beer. It took about an hour and a half for the pleasing aroma to fade, during which time every male between the ages of 15-89 who entered the store gave me the glad eye. I got winks and wiggly eyebrows. One guy even asked if I’d done something different with my hair. (I had not.) My beer sales spiked as well, so it was a win-win situation.

So ladies, why pay $102 for a 1.7 oz bottle of Chanel No. 5 when you can get six twelve oz bottles of Mich Light for less than seven bucks? And–depending on where you live–you may be able to recoup some of the expense by returning the empty bottles to your local redemption center.

Just thought you’d enjoy a friendly Tip From Kel-ouise.

(FYI: here’s the real woman underneath the unibrow. I think she’d stop traffic without the cashews or beer.)