All I need is a unibrow

Remember the Planters Peanut Girl commercial from this year’s [tragic] Superbowl [in which the Patriots did not emerge victorious]? To refresh your memory:

Now I know how she feels. Last night I broke a six pack of Michelob Light while I was stocking the cooler, and in the process my pant legs became drenched with beer. It took about an hour and a half for the pleasing aroma to fade, during which time every male between the ages of 15-89 who entered the store gave me the glad eye. I got winks and wiggly eyebrows. One guy even asked if I’d done something different with my hair. (I had not.) My beer sales spiked as well, so it was a win-win situation.

So ladies, why pay $102 for a 1.7 oz bottle of Chanel No. 5 when you can get six twelve oz bottles of Mich Light for less than seven bucks? And–depending on where you live–you may be able to recoup some of the expense by returning the empty bottles to your local redemption center.

Just thought you’d enjoy a friendly Tip From Kel-ouise.

(FYI: here’s the real woman underneath the unibrow. I think she’d stop traffic without the cashews or beer.)

7 thoughts on “All I need is a unibrow

  1. More beauty secrets. A girl can never have enough. I love the article. And thank you for the sweet compliment.


    Christa Woomer
    The Planters Unibrow Lady

  2. Guys are so basic, you know? I wouldn’t necessarily be attracted to a guy wearing Pop Tart Perfume. Or would I?

  3. Why spend all that money? Back in the college days, the sweet smell of Natty Lite used to do the trick perfectly on the weekend for the fine brothers of Beta Theta Pi!

    (ok, I’m going back into my writing hole now…)

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