All I need is a unibrow

Remember the Planters Peanut Girl commercial from this year’s [tragic] Superbowl [in which the Patriots did not emerge victorious]? To refresh your memory:

Now I know how she feels. Last night I broke a six pack of Michelob Light while I was stocking the cooler, and in the process my pant legs became drenched with beer. It took about an hour and a half for the pleasing aroma to fade, during which time every male between the ages of 15-89 who entered the store gave me the glad eye. I got winks and wiggly eyebrows. One guy even asked if I’d done something different with my hair. (I had not.) My beer sales spiked as well, so it was a win-win situation.

So ladies, why pay $102 for a 1.7 oz bottle of Chanel No. 5 when you can get six twelve oz bottles of Mich Light for less than seven bucks? And–depending on where you live–you may be able to recoup some of the expense by returning the empty bottles to your local redemption center.

Just thought you’d enjoy a friendly Tip From Kel-ouise.

(FYI: here’s the real woman underneath the unibrow. I think she’d stop traffic without the cashews or beer.)


About R.J. Keller

R. J. Keller is the author of Waiting For Spring. An avid independent movie enthusiast, she was Managing Editor of The Movie Fanatic website and created episodes of the writer-centric YouTube series, Inside The Writers' Studio, with author Kristen Tsetsi. She co-hosted Book Chatter with Stacey Cochran from 2011-2014. She lives in Central Maine with her family, where she enjoys gardening, collecting geeky memorabilia, and watching other people cook. View all posts by R.J. Keller

7 responses to “All I need is a unibrow

  • Elleann

    I love it! Way to go, Kells! A real case of life imitating art!

  • Kit Courteney

    I’ve got one of those niggling headaches so this was just what I needed to perk me up :0)

  • CharlotteV

    I can just see the commercial now…hordes of men running down the street, wild with desire! Love it!

  • Anonymous

    More beauty secrets. A girl can never have enough. I love the article. And thank you for the sweet compliment.


    Christa Woomer
    The Planters Unibrow Lady

  • Robin

    Guys are so basic, you know? I wouldn’t necessarily be attracted to a guy wearing Pop Tart Perfume. Or would I?

  • screenwritingforhollywood

    Farting and belching works well too.

  • Jen O

    Why spend all that money? Back in the college days, the sweet smell of Natty Lite used to do the trick perfectly on the weekend for the fine brothers of Beta Theta Pi!

    (ok, I’m going back into my writing hole now…)

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