Wednesday evening I hit a deer on the way home from my friend’s house. Behold the following cell phone conversation:
Me: (frantic, freaked out) Oh my God! Oh my God! I hit a deer!
Hubby: (frantic, freaked out) Are you hurt? (instant bonus points for hubby)
Me: (not quite so frantic, but still freaked out) No. I’m fine. But…I…hit…a…DEER!!!
Hubby: How bad is it damaged?
Me: It’s dead.
Hubby: What?! Totalled?
Me: Well yeah, I creamed it pretty hard.
Hubby: Not the deer, you dope (bonus points taken away instantly) the van!
Me: Beats the hell outta me.
I was still hovering over the poor, dead, mangled deer and so had no time for trivialities like damaged mini vans. (For all my guy readers: dented bumper. Goes in to be fixed on Monday. Comprehensive coverage. God Bless Allstate. We’re in Good Hands.)