Author: R.J. Keller

A little Q & A

/ R.J. Keller / 7 Comments

Ooooh, Kel’s been getting lots of email lately. Very cool! On Sunday, I was asked the following question:

“How come you don’t blog about your writing process or the publishing industry like most other writers out there do? Just curious.”

Fair enough. For those of you who are interested…

A. My “writing process” consists of:

1. Lying down on the couch for about half an hour each morning, imagining the scene(s) I’m about to write in as much detail as possible. I especially focus on what the setting and/or characters smell like. (Seriously.) Once I’ve got that, I’m all set. Then I:

2. Take a shower. For some reason, that helps my creativity flow more smoothly. Possibly it’s the hot water loosening everything up. Plus it’s easier to concentrate on what the scene(s) smell like when I’m not distracted by my own B.O. Afterwards I:

3. Pour myself a giant mug of coffee (cream and one spoonful of brown sugar), then sit at my computer. I plug myself into my iTunes playlist (which varies, depending on the mood of the scene I’m about to write. For example, yesterday, while writing about a gruesome and gory murder, I put “Epic” by Faith No More on repeat). I listen quietly for a few minutes so I can “get into character.” Then I start writing.

Exciting, no?

You’re right. No.

B. My thoughts on the publishing industry?

Well, I published my novel myself, so that should give you a hint. Zoe articulated my feelings pretty well yesterday when she broke down a recent New York Times article about the state of the publishing industry. My favorite snipit was a quote from a literary agent who gauges what she thinks will sell based on, “Just a feeling.’ She described it as a tingling that went up her spine.” Zoe’s response? “I’m sorry, but I’m not pinning my hopes and dreams on whether or not your spine tingles. See a Chiropractor and read a business book.”

Amen.

I have spoken a little about this subject on this blog here and also here. I think I best summed up my own frustration in a letter to a friend last spring:

“I’ve become rather disenchanted with the publishing business–not because I can’t get published, but because of the reasons I’ve been given. I’m not commercial enough for the “mainstream” agents (for lack of a better term), and not educated enough for the more literary crowd. I guess what I wonder about is this: If a book is “well-written, with engaging characters and a good story” then how is it not marketable? Isn’t that the reason people buy books? Or, if my writing is good, why does it matter that I don’t have an degree?”

So there you have it. Next time I’ll be answering questions about fan fiction and whether or not Waiting For Spring reflects my personal viewpoint on vigilante justice.

I don’t want a cookie, dammit!

/ R.J. Keller / 5 Comments

Tonight at work, I was relating a story to a regular customer–who also happens to be a friend (we’ll call him “Nate”)–about a husband and wife who came into the store yesterday. The wife had come in earlier in the day to pick up a bag of loose tobacco for the husband and had apparently brought home the wrong kind…full flavor instead of light. He stood there, in a crowded store, verbally berating her for the mistake. It was pretty disturbing. When he was done, he asked me if I’d exchange it for a bag of light tobacco. We happened to be out. I informed the asshole. He gave me a look that made me think I was next on his verbal hitlist, so (as I explained to “Nate”) I gave him a look that let him know I wasn’t gonna take any shit. I then demonstrated the look I gave the jerk.

I wasn’t able to finish the story (which ends with him returning the tobacco for a full refund, without giving me a verbal berating) because “Nate” broke out into what I will here call hysterical laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

“You. Was that supposed to be a dirty look?”

“Well…yeah. It was.”

“Because you’re not scaring me at all with that. It just makes me want to pat you on the head and give you a cookie.”

If I was a guy I’d feel so emasculated right now. What’s the word to use when that happens to a chick?

I don’t want a cookie, dammit!

/ R.J. Keller / 5 Comments

Tonight at work, I was relating a story to a regular customer–who also happens to be a friend (we’ll call him “Nate”)–about a husband and wife who came into the store yesterday. The wife had come in earlier in the day to pick up a bag of loose tobacco for the husband and had apparently brought home the wrong kind…full flavor instead of light. He stood there, in a crowded store, verbally berating her for the mistake. It was pretty disturbing. When he was done, he asked me if I’d exchange it for a bag of light tobacco. We happened to be out. I informed the asshole. He gave me a look that made me think I was next on his verbal hitlist, so (as I explained to “Nate”) I gave him a look that let him know I wasn’t gonna take any shit. I then demonstrated the look I gave the jerk.

I wasn’t able to finish the story (which ends with him returning the tobacco for a full refund, without giving me a verbal berating) because “Nate” broke out into what I will here call hysterical laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

“You. Was that supposed to be a dirty look?”

“Well…yeah. It was.”

“Because you’re not scaring me at all with that. It just makes me want to pat you on the head and give you a cookie.”

If I was a guy I’d feel so emasculated right now. What’s the word to use when that happens to a chick?

Just a few plugs

/ R.J. Keller / 5 Comments

Not the kind of plugs that conduct electricity, nor the kind that come after the Rogaine stops working. I’m talking about the obnoxious kind that boil down to, “Hey! Look at me!!!”

1. Jaden at Screenwriting for Hollywood put up a banner link to the online version of Waiting For Spring. Not because I asked her to do so or because I paid her to do so, but because she likes my writing and wants to lead others to it. That’s a cool feeling. It’s also super-nice of her. To show my appreciation I’d like to lead y’all to her website. You may have noticed the banner link to it down yonder under “Because I Like Movies.” It’s been there for quite a few months, but I want to make sure you check it out. Not just because she linked WFS, but because it’s an awesome site. If you’re a movie fan or a writer–and especially if you’re both–you’ll love it. There’s lots of great stuff there. So go there now!

2. I uploaded “Waiting For Spring” to the GoodReads library. If you’re a member there, you can add it to your bookshelf. While you’re at it, you could add my profile to your list of ‘friends.’ I’m new to the site and would love to see what everyone is reading.

3. This is more an invitation than a plug, but I’ve noticed an increase in readership here at Da Blog over the past week. So to any newcomers: Feel free to comment!!! The more the merrier, the louder the better…that’s what I say.

Just a few plugs

/ R.J. Keller / 5 Comments

Not the kind of plugs that conduct electricity, nor the kind that come after the Rogaine stops working. I’m talking about the obnoxious kind that boil down to, “Hey! Look at me!!!”

1. Jaden at Screenwriting for Hollywood put up a banner link to the online version of Waiting For Spring. Not because I asked her to do so or because I paid her to do so, but because she likes my writing and wants to lead others to it. That’s a cool feeling. It’s also super-nice of her. To show my appreciation I’d like to lead y’all to her website. You may have noticed the banner link to it down yonder under “Because I Like Movies.” It’s been there for quite a few months, but I want to make sure you check it out. Not just because she linked WFS, but because it’s an awesome site. If you’re a movie fan or a writer–and especially if you’re both–you’ll love it. There’s lots of great stuff there. So go there now!

2. I uploaded “Waiting For Spring” to the GoodReads library. If you’re a member there, you can add it to your bookshelf. While you’re at it, you could add my profile to your list of ‘friends.’ I’m new to the site and would love to see what everyone is reading.

3. This is more an invitation than a plug, but I’ve noticed an increase in readership here at Da Blog over the past week. So to any newcomers: Feel free to comment!!! The more the merrier, the louder the better…that’s what I say.