An Open Letter To the State of Maine:

Dear Sirs and Madams,

My husband and I owe a little over $100 in taxes to the State of Maine. The check is made out and I was just getting ready to take it to the post office. Then I remembered something: It is legal for TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families / a.k.a. welfare) recipients to purchase alcohol and tobacco products with their welfare / a.k.a. my tax money. I think I’ll save myself a stamp and buy my TANF-receiving neighbor a couple carton of Marlboros and a half gallon of Allens from the store down the road. That should make us square.

Sincerely,
R.J. Keller