So, it’s official. My doctor told me this morning that I am a caffeine addict.
It’s not the first time she’s told me this, actually. Every time I go in she encourages me to stop drinking coffee, or to at least cut down on it. I’ve always looked on this advice as something doctors are Supposed To Say to each of their patients, in the same way I tell my kids each day to clean their rooms, and therefore I have always ignored it.
Apparently she really did mean that I should cut down on my caffeine intake. Apparently, my recent problems with headaches, tremors, high blood pressure, mood swings, and dizziness are actually the side effects of drinking anywhere from 8-14 cups of coffee each day. When I’m at work, I frequently add caffeine shots to my already-caffeinated coffee. Probably my candy coated espresso bean snacks haven’t helped any. So today, she gave me a little pamphlet with the following information:
Caffeine works by stimulating the central nervous system. It increases the stress hormones in your blood stream, causing you to temporarily feel more alert. While there’s no real harm in having a single cup of coffee, many people become trapped in a vicious cycle of caffeine addiction. They become dependant on caffeine to stay alert during the day and find it hard to relax at night because of their excessive caffeine consumption. Then, they must consume even more caffeine the following day to compensate for their lack of rest.
Caffeine reaches your bloodstream within about 30-45 minutes. It increases your body’s dopamine levels in the same way that heroine, cocaine, and amphetamines do. Caffeine also binds to adenosine receptors and leads to increased neuron firing in the brain
While caffeine does result in increased alertness, it has been linked to high blood pressure, insomnia, tremors, rapid breathing, headaches, dizziness, a loss of fine motor control, and erectile dysfunction.
I’ll bet you’re wondering what “adenosine receptors” are. I wondered, too, so I Googled it. According to Wikipedia:
“The adenosine receptors (or P1 receptors) are a class of purinergic receptors, G-protein coupled receptors with adenosine as endogenous ligand.”
It went on to add:
“The activity of A2A adenosine receptor, a G-protein coupled receptor family member, is mediated by G proteins which activate adenylyl cyclase. It is abundant in basal ganglia, vasculature and platelets and it is a major target of caffeine.“
I don’t know what any of that means, but words like purinergic, adenylyl cyclase, and basal ganglia scare the shit out of me. So, I’m gonna do the only thing I can do. I’m gonna give up da coffee. My basal ganglia, apparently, are depending on me.
At least, I’m going to quit after I’m done with Script Frenzy. And after I’ve finished writing that new book I’ve been working on. Well, let’s say after I’m done editing it as well. Even though, really, I can quit any time I want.