I was wondering when someone was gonna come right out and ask me this

I got an email this morning that cracked me up (figuratively speaking). It was from a lady who’d just finished reading Waiting For Spring. She wanted to know:

“Were you high when you wrote the scene where Tess and Brian get stoned and get it on ‘underneath the mischievous stars?'”

First of all, I love that she worded it that way. It’s been awhile since I’ve heard anyone use the phrase ‘get it on’ and it tickles me (figuratively speaking) to see that it’s making a comeback. Secondly, I love that she came right out and asked me if I was high. People I know personally (Hi Mom!! Hi Jim!! Hi “E”!!) have hinted about it, but never come right out and asked me. As you may imagine, it’s hard to answer an unasked question. But now that it’s been asked, I’ll come right out and tell you.

It depends on what your definition of “high” is.

I was, at the time of writing that particular section of the novel (actually, it was during one of my many rewriting/editing phases), suffering from the mother of all head colds. It was well after midnight on a frigid, starry November night and I was miserable. The Robitussin I’d taken an hour earlier wasn’t cutting it, so I reached for my big gun: Cherry Nyquil. I took triple the recommended dosage (because I was suffering three times as much as I’d ever suffered before), lay down on the couch (so as not to wake my beloved husband with my sniffling-sneezing-coughing-aching-stuffy head-fever-and-inability-to-rest), looked out the window at the stars and waited for sleep to claim me.

Instead, weird things started to happen to the stars. What was probably a combination of my virus-ridden watery eyes and the Dextromethorphan in the Nyquil made the stars appear to slowly swell, then burst in dozens of beautiful, fiery, colorful explosions. It was really cool. And as I watched it happen again and again, I thought to myself, “Tess would totally get a kick out of this.”

Even in this semi-altered reality, I knew I couldn’t waste the moment by remaining a spectator. I hopped up, swayed and stumbled to the computer, and banged out what is now the end of chapter 21…aka, the scene where Tess and Brian get stoned and get it on underneath the mischievous stars.

~~~~~

The stars, he said, were actually souls; all the souls that were too restless to be locked up in heaven. They were so restless that God let them stay outside at night to play.

It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard him say, that I’d ever heard anyone say, and I forgot for a moment that he didn’t even believe in God. And when I did remember I still believed his words and I was thankful that He had chosen tonight to let so many restless souls out to play. I smiled up at them and they smiled right back. Giant prism smiles that shattered the white light into a thousand colors. They dripped all over the sky, slowly, just like hot candle wax. I tried to whisper to them, wanted to tell them that I knew their secret, but no words would form. They heard me though, or at least heard my thoughts, because they came in a little closer; so close I could touch them. I reached up, stretched as far as I could stretch while still lying on my back…and I swept my fingers across the cold, wet, colorful sky.

Brian reached up, too, but not for the stars. He grabbed my hand, brought it back down to Earth, and I think he knew, even though I didn’t tell him. I think he felt it all in my fingertips. Because he kissed them, each one, so gently, with precious, tender lips. And when he kissed my mouth I could taste the night on his lips and his tongue. Sweet honey words and neon stardust, and we made love, in slow motion, naked underneath the mischievous stars.

The night was chilly and the ground was cold, like I was lying on January’s carpet. But it soon melted away; the cold, the grass, the ground itself. It all evaporated and we were enveloped in its steam. Because Brian was burning with a heat more intense and pure than the sun. He was heat, the source of everything warm, and in that night of mist and haze and waxy skies his body was the only thing that was real, our love the only thing that was solid. The only solid thing in the world, in vast expanse of the universe. For a brief moment lucidity flickered, and I begged the starry, restless souls that it was true. That it would still be true even after the mists were gone and the haze wore off and the ground returned.

That it would always be true.

All good things must come to an end

I’m not talking about the heartbreaking loss of my beloved Red Sox to the team-that-shall-not-be-named, nor to the horrifying possiblity that Mr. Jason Varitek–now officially a free agent–may not be back with the Sox next year (please, please please sign the man, Theo).

No, I’m talking about Waiting For Spring‘s serialization at Sid Leavitt’s Readers and Writers Blog. That’s right…the final two chapters were posted there yesterday.

I can’t begin to express my gratitude to Sid for giving Waiting For Spring such a fine home alongside so many amazing books, short stories, and poems. He announced yesterday that he’s taking a temporary break from posting new entries after next week, but the site will remain up, along with “The Works” library. (Check it out: Non Fiction, Fiction, Poetry.) Waiting For Spring will remain there as well should you wish to read it.

In the meantime, also posted this week: chapters 18 and 19 of Ann M. Pino’s Steal Tomorrow.

All good things must come to an end

I’m not talking about the heartbreaking loss of my beloved Red Sox to the team-that-shall-not-be-named, nor to the horrifying possiblity that Mr. Jason Varitek–now officially a free agent–may not be back with the Sox next year (please, please please sign the man, Theo).

No, I’m talking about Waiting For Spring‘s serialization at Sid Leavitt’s Readers and Writers Blog. That’s right…the final two chapters were posted there yesterday.

I can’t begin to express my gratitude to Sid for giving Waiting For Spring such a fine home alongside so many amazing books, short stories, and poems. He announced yesterday that he’s taking a temporary break from posting new entries after next week, but the site will remain up, along with “The Works” library. (Check it out: Non Fiction, Fiction, Poetry.) Waiting For Spring will remain there as well should you wish to read it.

In the meantime, also posted this week: chapters 18 and 19 of Ann M. Pino’s Steal Tomorrow.

Review time


Waiting For Spring recently received its first editorial review at Web Fiction Guide, as well as a review from a Guide member…both of them positive!

“Waiting for Spring is a very well-written, consistent story with a skillful eye for characterization. It’s not a showy fantasy or clever comedy or groundbreaking genre-maker — but it accomplishes something even better. It shows you a main character, and unfolding group of secondary characters, that live and breathe and reach out of the computer screen to touch the reader’s heart and mind.”

“…the story is real – it isn’t all rosebuds and champagne. Life is a struggle and the reader goes along for the ride with the characters as they work their way through the hard times.”

Read the full reviews here:

Waiting For Spring at Web Fiction Guide.

Review time


Waiting For Spring recently received its first editorial review at Web Fiction Guide, as well as a review from a Guide member…both of them positive!

“Waiting for Spring is a very well-written, consistent story with a skillful eye for characterization. It’s not a showy fantasy or clever comedy or groundbreaking genre-maker — but it accomplishes something even better. It shows you a main character, and unfolding group of secondary characters, that live and breathe and reach out of the computer screen to touch the reader’s heart and mind.”

“…the story is real – it isn’t all rosebuds and champagne. Life is a struggle and the reader goes along for the ride with the characters as they work their way through the hard times.”

Read the full reviews here:

Waiting For Spring at Web Fiction Guide.

I am not Tess Dyer

I know it’s not uncommon for a first novel to be at least semi-autobiographical, and judging by the sympathetic tone of some of the emails I’ve been getting lately, it seems that a lot of you think that’s the case with Waiting For Spring. Thankfully, I can say that it isn’t. Tess and I share some similarities: eye color, short stature, a tendency towards being a smart ass. We’re both avid Red Sox fans and both live in Small Town, Maine. I used my own ‘voice’–so to speak–for the narration. (Tackling the task of writing a first novel was much less daunting that way.) But the actual events of her life were in no way taken from mine. I sat down to write WFS over two-and-a-half-years ago with absolutely no plot in mind. I had no specific axes to grind, no confessions to make, no burdens with anyone’s name stamped in big, block letters to set down. Just thirty-five-and-a-half years of being a human being to sort through and a certainty that I had the talent to make something out of it.

I had been abandoned by someone who should have stayed around, then given the Someone who took his place a ration and a half of shit. Groaned about the minor imperfections of my mother, only to count my blessings when confronted with the gross imperfections of the mothers of some of my friends. I had loved and lost, then loved again. Shed tears with friends as they struggled with the heartbreak that comes when a mate has been unfaithful, and later thanked God out loud that it wasn’t me. Watched other friends who were too young being buried in the cold, hard ground.

I had known what it was like to wonder where my next meal was coming from when my husband lost his job, making due for weeks with mac & cheese and tunafish, grateful that there was such a thing as government aid to help us through the roughest spots; then grumbled as I watched people who’d never worked a day in their lives buying lobster with their food stamps. I had trusted people who didn’t deserve it, and turned my back on people who did. I found out what it’s like to not tell someone “I love you” in time, then vow to never make that mistake again; knowing full well that I probably will. I found out, too, that forgiveness works both ways.

There was a summer when it seemed everyone I knew who wasn’t in rehab should’ve been. An autumn when my brother was so sick that I prayed for God to take him away, to end his suffering; only to thank Him profusely as I watched my brother walk out of the hospital a week later. Moments when I looked at the ungrateful faces of the children I’d fought Nature to conceive and wondered why the hell I’d bothered; only to be followed by moments I couldn’t remember what life had been like before it had been blessed with their laughter. Dark times–even the happiest couples have them–when I had imagined what life would be like if I was on my own, single and carefree again; only to have those empty images blow away like ash when I heard the sound of my name in his voice…

So, although I can say that the novel is not factually autobiographical, I will admit that it is, perhaps, emotionally autobiographical. Still…I am not Tess Dyer.

I am not Tess Dyer

I know it’s not uncommon for a first novel to be at least semi-autobiographical, and judging by the sympathetic tone of some of the emails I’ve been getting lately, it seems that a lot of you think that’s the case with Waiting For Spring. Thankfully, I can say that it isn’t. Tess and I share some similarities: eye color, short stature, a tendency towards being a smart ass. We’re both avid Red Sox fans and both live in Small Town, Maine. I used my own ‘voice’–so to speak–for the narration. (Tackling the task of writing a first novel was much less daunting that way.) But the actual events of her life were in no way taken from mine*.

I sat down to write WFS over two-and-a-half-years ago with absolutely no plot in mind. I had no specific axes to grind, no confessions to make, no burdens with anyone’s name stamped in big, block letters to set down. Just thirty-five-and-a-half years of being a human being to sort through and a certainty that I had the talent to make something out of it.

I had been abandoned by someone who should have stayed around, then given the Someone who took his place a ration and a half of shit. Groaned about the minor imperfections of my mother*, only to count my blessings when confronted with the gross imperfections of the mothers of some of my friends. I had loved and lost, then loved again. Shed tears with friends as they struggled with the heartbreak that comes when a mate has been unfaithful, and later thanked God out loud that it wasn’t me. Watched other friends who were too young being buried in the cold, hard ground.

I had known what it was like to wonder where my next meal was coming from when my husband lost his job, making due for weeks with mac & cheese and tunafish, grateful that there was such a thing as government aid to help us through the roughest spots; then grumbled as I watched people who’d never worked a day in their lives buying lobster with their food stamps. I had trusted people who didn’t deserve it, and turned my back on people who did. I found out what it’s like to not tell someone “I love you” in time, then vow to never make that mistake again; knowing full well that I probably will. I found out, too, that forgiveness works both ways.

There was a summer when it seemed everyone I knew who wasn’t in rehab should’ve been. An autumn when my brother was so sick that I prayed for God to take him away, to end his suffering; only to watch him walk out of the hospital a week later. Moments when I looked at the ungrateful faces of the children I’d fought Nature to conceive and wondered why the hell I’d bothered; only to be followed by moments I couldn’t remember what life had been like before it had been blessed with their laughter. Dark times–even the happiest couples have them–when I had imagined what life would be like if I was on my own, single and carefree again; only to have those empty images blow away like ash when I heard the sound of my name in his voice…

So, no, I am not Tess Dyer. At least, not really. Or, if I am, maybe you are, too.

*I feel especially compelled, now that Chapter 38 of WFS (aka the chapter in which Tess makes her Confession From Hell) has been posted at Readers and Writers Blog, to reiterate that Tess’ mother is in no way based on mine. (Yes, she has recently confided in me her fear that people will think this.) So once again…My mother is not an insane, selfish psycho bitch. She is an amazing, supportive, if slightly off-center, mother who gave up a lot in raising my brothers and me, and set the ultimate example of what it means to be a Mom.

In addition, Chapter 39 of WFS and chapters 14 and 15 of Ann M. Pino’s Steal Tomorrow have been posted in the New Works at R&WBlog. (If you haven’t read any of Steal Tomorrow yet, do yourself a favor and get on it. It’s that good.)

Some Star Wars geekery

My buddy, JC, recently posted a blog entry about the Star Wars prequels in which he said: “The new ‘trilogy’ is not nearly as bad as so many make it sound. In some ways, I like it as much as the original ‘trilogy.'” I have known him for several years, and we have had many heated discussions about the topic. We finally had to agree to disagree.

Recently, however, I reached the point where I can honestly say I thoroughly enjoy watching the new trilogy in its entirety. Ewan McGregor rocks as young Obi-Wan (and I’m not just saying that because he’s hot, although he is); the politics are not only interesting, but relevent (possibly prophetic?) to today; Mace Windu and his Purple Lightsaber of Awesomeness are the coolest characters to ihhabit any of the six movies; and the fiery showdown between Anakin and Obi-Wan in Episosde 3 has got to be the most exciting [insert correct number of] minutes ever put to film. I do have many problems with the movies, though, and I will enumerate them for you:

1. Character development of Padme.

Lucas was all over the place here. Episode 1 establishes Padme Amidala as a strong, but fair, leader, willing to sacrifice herself for the good of her people. Episode 2 picks up with her as a Senator who is just as noble. She’s obviously attracted to Anakin, but tells him to buzz off because the Republic is falling apart and there are more important things to worry about than gettin’ a little nookie on the side. And then, out of the blue, she’s willing to put that all at risk by marrying the whiney pinhead? It wasn’t until I watched the deleted scenes on the DVD that I could see where she was coming from. They show Padme with her family, including her two young nieces, which allows you to see some internal conflict: She felt compelled to remain in public service, because of the political upheaval, but ached to have a life (and a family) of her own. Lucas would have done well to include these scenes. They took up very little screen time, were actually well done, and would have made her sudden capitulation seem not-so-sudden. And don’t even get me started on the Padme-died-of-a-broken-heart thing.

2. Dialogue.

Yes, I know it was cringe-worthy in the original trilogy, but Lucas hit new lows in the prequel, especially–again–with the Anakin/Padme love story. The hairbrush/balcony scene in Episode 3 has got to be the most excrutiating [insert correct number of] minutes ever put to film. When compared to the banter and sexual tension between Han Solo and Princess Leia in The Empire Strikes Back…well, there really is no comparison. And the fact that all of the good stuff in Empire was ad-libbed by Harrison Ford speaks volumes.

3. That damned pod race.

It was twice as long as it needed to be. Even in the theater, the first time I saw episode 1, I found myself saying, “ENOUGH ALREADY!!! You have pretty new CGI toys to use…we get it…now let’s move on!!!!”


4. Jar Jar Binks.

Yes, the Ewoks were annoying. But at least they didn’t have the ability to speak which–as Qui Gon aptly observed–“does not make you intelligent.”

C3PO and R2D2 provided all of the “comic relief” necessary. We didn’t need this guy.

Most of the other concerns I have are relatively minor, and not worth mentioning. Stay tuned, though. In another 15 years or so, I’m sure George Lucas will have CGI’d in a whole new slew of things for me to complain about…

~~~~~~~~

Today is Sunday, and you know what that means. New stuff is up at Readers and Writers Blog. Mr. Sid Leavitt has much to say about the $700 billion gov’t bailout plan; more badness on the homefront–and then some badness off the homefront–for poor Tess in chapters 36 and 37 of Waiting For Spring; and some very powerful things are going down in Cassie’s world in chapters 12 and 13 of Steal Tomorrow.

In other news, voting continues at the Live Journal Writers’ Idol. Once the results are in, I’ll let you know how week 1 went for me, and I’ll post my entry here.

Some Star Wars geekery

My buddy, JC, recently posted a blog entry about the Star Wars prequels in which he said: “The new ‘trilogy’ is not nearly as bad as so many make it sound. In some ways, I like it as much as the original ‘trilogy.'” I have known him for several years, and we have had many heated discussions about the topic. We finally had to agree to disagree.

Recently, however, I reached the point where I can honestly say I thoroughly enjoy watching the new trilogy in its entirety. Ewan McGregor rocks as young Obi-Wan (and I’m not just saying that because he’s hot, although he is); the politics are not only interesting, but relevent (possibly prophetic?) to today; Mace Windu and his Purple Lightsaber of Awesomeness are the coolest characters to ihhabit any of the six movies; and the fiery showdown between Anakin and Obi-Wan in Episosde 3 has got to be the most exciting [insert correct number of] minutes ever put to film. I do have many problems with the movies, though, and I will enumerate them for you:

1. Character development of Padme.

Lucas was all over the place here. Episode 1 establishes Padme Amidala as a strong, but fair, leader, willing to sacrifice herself for the good of her people. Episode 2 picks up with her as a Senator who is just as noble. She’s obviously attracted to Anakin, but tells him to buzz off because the Republic is falling apart and there are more important things to worry about than gettin’ a little nookie on the side. And then, out of the blue, she’s willing to put that all at risk by marrying the whiney pinhead? It wasn’t until I watched the deleted scenes on the DVD that I could see where she was coming from. They show Padme with her family, including her two young nieces, which allows you to see some internal conflict: She felt compelled to remain in public service, because of the political upheaval, but ached to have a life (and a family) of her own. Lucas would have done well to include these scenes. They took up very little screen time, were actually well done, and would have made her sudden capitulation seem not-so-sudden. And don’t even get me started on the Padme-died-of-a-broken-heart thing.

2. Dialogue.

Yes, I know it was cringe-worthy in the original trilogy, but Lucas hit new lows in the prequel, especially–again–with the Anakin/Padme love story. The hairbrush/balcony scene in Episode 3 has got to be the most excrutiating [insert correct number of] minutes ever put to film. When compared to the banter and sexual tension between Han Solo and Princess Leia in The Empire Strikes Back…well, there really is no comparison. And the fact that all of the good stuff in Empire was ad-libbed by Harrison Ford speaks volumes.

3. That damned pod race.

It was twice as long as it needed to be. Even in the theater, the first time I saw episode 1, I found myself saying, “ENOUGH ALREADY!!! You have pretty new CGI toys to use…we get it…now let’s move on!!!!”


4. Jar Jar Binks.

Yes, the Ewoks were annoying. But at least they didn’t have the ability to speak which–as Qui Gon aptly observed–“does not make you intelligent.”

C3PO and R2D2 provided all of the “comic relief” necessary. We didn’t need this guy.

Most of the other concerns I have are relatively minor, and not worth mentioning. Stay tuned, though. In another 15 years or so, I’m sure George Lucas will have CGI’d in a whole new slew of things for me to complain about…

~~~~~~~~

Today is Sunday, and you know what that means. New stuff is up at Readers and Writers Blog. Mr. Sid Leavitt has much to say about the $700 billion gov’t bailout plan; more badness on the homefront–and then some badness off the homefront–for poor Tess in chapters 36 and 37 of Waiting For Spring; and some very powerful things are going down in Cassie’s world in chapters 12 and 13 of Steal Tomorrow.

In other news, voting continues at the Live Journal Writers’ Idol. Once the results are in, I’ll let you know how week 1 went for me, and I’ll post my entry here.

Web Fiction Guide

I’m excited to announce that Waiting For Spring is now listed at Web Fiction Guide.

click here to read

Their mission:

“Web Fiction Guide is a community-run listing of online fiction. Our goal is to help you find stuff you want to read.

Web fiction is original fiction that writers have chosen to publish on the web — sometimes instead of on paper, sometimes as well as on paper. It runs the gamut, from complete novels, to ongoing serials (web comics without the pictures), to short story collection and anthologies.

Here at the Guide, we list anything that is original and story-oriented (we don’t list fanfic or erotica), and that is available for free to read.”

Readers get a chance to read, rate and review the works listed. If you haven’t had a chance to read Waiting For Spring, you now have one more place to find it. If you have read it, and feel so inclined as to give it a rating or review, it would be greatly appreciated. You can find it HERE

You can find lots of other great stuff there in a wide variety of genres, including Ann M. Pino’s Steal Tomorrow (see right side bar…also being serialized at Readers and Writers Blog). So check it out!